Today I went to The Pier with my family. Thought a lot about my sons father. Where he is what he's doing why he hasn't kept inotuch with us. I want so much but yet I don't want nothing at all.
Simple things! I would love to just travel. Or move to the country. Live in a nice victoria house, or a farm house. Tired of all the city life. And I do love the city. Maybe one day I'll move maybe one day I'll get it all together. You know a broken heart is really never mended. There is always that piece that no matter how much you try to fix it, it keeps falling off.

I don't even know where to begin. I'm a single mom who is still inlove with my sons father who I know is not good for me. I mean I haven't even heard from him in more than two years. He hasn't seen his son since he is 6 months old. I try so hard to do the right thing send pictures letters and I never get a letter or a phone call nothing. I don't live in the best area but I finally gotmy own place notliving with parents.
Its actually a nice little town house. I keep it very nice. Now I'm trying to go back to school and trying to give my son a better life. I feel alone, and very guilty that my son is growing up without his father. I mean he has lots of male role models around. My brother, brother in law, father, older cousins. So its not like he doesn't have people here that care about him and love him.
I would love to be married live in a nice home. Go to work cook dinner and be a real family. I mean I cook now all the time. I love cooking. Food brings family and friends to the table. Maybe even have one more kid. Thatrs a big maybe.
Unitl tomorrow. I know my blog is very borring. This is all new to me just a little confused and am trying to get it all together.