I am happy but at the same time feeling so alone. Everything is going great in class but on a personal level I know in my heart that I will never have what I have always wanted. I don't want it all. I don't have to have all the things my sister has to be happy. Nor does that mean I am willing to settle and like my family thinks that I l like ghetto and don't want better. I think simplicity. I'd be very happy having a decent job not even making a lot of money but doing something I really enjoy doing. COoking. It doesn't have to be a big fancy restaurant. It could b a little mom and pop place. Having a little house or a nice apartment. Me my son and maybe a husband.
My fmily just thinks I like to take the easy way out but honestly I don't think they really know me. Sure I have went out with the biggest loosers and done some crazy things. But I have changed. And you know what I shouldn't have to try and prove my self to my whole family. I always feel like I have something to prove and you know what what I am doing now in school I would be hapy woorking at a little shit place busting my ass for what ever money they gave me because at the end of the day I cansay I am happy doing what I do working cooking and serving food and talking to real people. In my family's eyes that would mean I am settiling and taking the easy way out and at this pint I am done trying to explain.
Thanks all for listening.
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